Every marriage will have problems, but some people can't tell the signs when it becomes unhealthy. Some marriages are harder than others, but what about if it doesn't have to be? If you can find the signs before the problem escalates, wouldn't it prevent you both from being miserable?
Once you sign those papers, you want to be able to live your lives to the full, live a life full of happiness, full of excitement. You want to make the most of your marriage!
There are so many signs of an unhealthy marriage, some are blatant, some are hard to see but they are there. Unhealthy marriages aren't uncommon, but if you can see the signs maybe you can try and change it before it's too late.
You argue all the time;
It's not uncommon to argue with your partner, but it's very unhealthy to be arguing 24/7. Arguing is one of the biggest signs of an unhealthy marriage, you as a couple should be spending time making memories, having adventures rather than arguing constantly over petty things.
Sometimes it can't be helped, one of you may have had a bad day and they are taking it out on the other, but this shouldn't happen but it does quite often. When you're having a bad time, you seem to take it out on the one closest to you, some do it without realising. If you spend most of your time arguing rather than talking, it's a red flag.
You no longer have sex or you fantasize about someone else;
This can be a big problem but again some think it's normal. Some people may not think that sex is major within a relationship, in all fairness sex itself isn't a standard fix, but even physical intimacy can help a long way. This doesn't completely mean sex, this could mean a kiss or a cuddle. Fantasising about someone else instead of your partner is a big issue, you married your partner because you fell in love with them, fell in love with them completely.. you shouldn't be thinking about other people in that way, if you do then that's where the problem starts. Alot of people feel unwanted if their partner refuses sex, but goes and watches porn instead, we will cover that.
But again, it's warned that if your partner is constantly fantasizing about other people instead of you, then it becomes unhealthy. They start detaching from you and edging towards the person they are constantly thinking about. It's a big reason why relationships break down.
Only wanting you, when everyone else is busy;
Everyone has an opinion on this. Some people don't mind because they enjoy having personal space all the time, they enjoy being married but they don't mind not spending time with their partner. Of course, the partner will enjoy those moments because that's the only time they get with them or they aren't very happy that they are the second option, so this can be another red flag.
On the other hand, It's said that one in the marriage doesn't want to spend time with their partner until they haven't got any plans or their friends, family are busy and they have no longer got anything to do so the first thing they can think of is to come home and spend that time with their partner.
They constantly lie to you;
One of the most common signs is that they constantly lie to you. This breaks a marriage down so quickly. When you get married, couples agree that they will always be loyal, genuine and upfront about everything so when one starts lying, it breaks down the trust barriers.
You have to be mindful when they see that your partner is lying to you. They could be lying because they are planning a surprise for you for an occasion, they may have brought you something, they don't want to argue or they could, unfortunately, be cheating. Before you bring up the subject of cheating (as it's a sore subject) make sure your gut knows that they are cheating, you don't want to accuse them of something that they may not be doing. However, if it was a healthy relationship before you started realising maybe just speak to your partner and see what's happening.
You don't enjoy spending time with your partner
If you don't enjoy spending time with your partner, this deems to be a concern. As a married couple, you have both agreed to spend the rest of your lives together, if for some reason you prefer not to be around your partner, it will get harder.
E.g., If your partner is constantly on their phone during film nights or dates and they aren't paying any attention to you, then this could be one of the first signs. I know a few people whose partners are big gamers. Some women enjoy having time to themselves, however, some people hate it. Their partner prefers to spend all of their time gaming with their friends and they don't have any time left to spend with their partner. They may even ask you what you would like to do on a particular night, of course, you're going to say spend time with them and they laugh and continue to play their games.
Every marriage is different. You have to make sure you still feel the want and enjoyment of spending time with your partner, it keeps the marriage alive.
You have fallen out of love with them
This is one of the commonest signs. People end up falling out of love with their partners and decide to stay in the marriage. There are alot of reasons that people stay, this could be that they have children, financial difficulties, especially paying for the divorce itself, but then again there are alot of other people who decide that staying within that marriage would be better so they can still stay that they are a married person. Some use it against their partner, as a trap and some just want to be married but can't be bothered to put in the effort.
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